


The Vow (Merthur Style)

by merthurianlegends



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic, Marriage, Memory Loss, Multi, Possible Character Death, Post Season 3, WIP
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-13
Updated: 2013-10-13
Packaged: 2017-12-29 08:00:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1002937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merthurianlegends/pseuds/merthurianlegends
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I will love you: till the day I die..." That was Merlin's wedding vows to Arthur, and they would have lived happily ever after too...But after an accident causes Merlin to loose 5 years out of his memory, will Arthur be able to make Merlin fall for him again? Can the love of a lifetime find a second chance? *SLASH*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Some background info:
> 
> -This story is set post season 3...The first two chapters will be in flashbacks to their wedding/magic reveal, and then after that I hope to get into "The Vow" movie plot...
> 
> -*Mini-Spoilers* When Merlin looses his memory, he will only remember up to about 2x03...after that he forgets everything that has happened to him...
> 
> -Other pairings on the side include: Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/Merlin, past Arthur/Gwen, and maybe some Kara/Mordred
> 
> -Orignally posted on my Fanfiction Account: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9580773/1/The-Vow-Merthur-Style

 

"You blundering IDIOT!" Arthur shouts out from his "changing room" behind the wooden panel, his voice pounding on Merlin's ear drums, echoing off the insides of his skull. "Merlin, get your lazy, worthless ass over here!"

_Now what?_

Merlin begins to imagine what he is in for as he rushes over to Arthur; considering the fact that the last time Arthur had sounded this irritated was five minutes ago, Merlin can only assume that he was responsible for whatever Arthur was raging about this time. But as the forces of evil would have it, Merlin is detoured from his path when his foot accidently bangs against the wooden chair, causing him to tumble on to the floor while grasping his toes.

"OW….yes, Sire?" an exhausted Merlin mutters into the ground.

"If you value your life," Arthur begins, "Don't you dare to even  _think_ laughing…"

"Wouldn't dream of it-although it was very funny when the other night at the tavern Gwaine dressed up in that dre-"

"MERLIN: Just explain to me how you managed THIS."

Merlin's eyes widen as a very flustered Arthur in a shocking and proud pink shirt steps out from behind the blinds. Standing with a foot on either side of Merlin's face, Arthur lifts an inquiring eyebrow before growling viciously as he wastes no time in producing a threat, "Please don't tell me you got my laundry mixed up with Gwen's again, cause if you do-I will have you publicly humiliated by hanging you from that neckerchief of yours!"

If holding back his laughter was not enough strength to get knighted, Merlin would never live to see a day that he would be treated like one. "S-S-Sire…Your shi-shirt: it's pinkkkkk!"

Someone must have sucked all the air out of him, for the next thing he knows, Merlin has collapsed over to his side and is bawling into the ground. When he manages to recollect himself, Merlin could see Arthur's unamused face just a few inches away from his own. Arthur raises his eyebrow as Merlin ceases his snickering; clearly Arthur had once again failed to see the humor of the situation, but nevertheless, Merlin's grin diminishes into his solemn, miserable self.

Merlin gulps and relinquishes all tendency of another outburst, "Um…I, uh…there's a very, um…you see, I kind of, uh-"

"Quit your blabbering, and tell me what the hell happened to my shirt!"

"I sort of-accidently of course, not that I would ever do this on pur-"

"MERLIN?!"

"OK! I accidently added one of my red neckerchiefs in with your white shirts when I was washing them..."

"You WHAT?!" Arthur shrieks, jumping up while he starts tearing his shirt off his back as if Merlin told him it was covered in parasites.

Arthur wastes no time on starting a lecture on hygiene and why Merlin should never wash his "infested" clothing with Arthur's; the bulging of Arthur's pants-which by the way was NOT his fault that his gaze came to rest on it considering that Arthur was standing right above his with his legs still apart…it was just there- was beginning to make Merlin's mouth water as his eyes stay fixated directly above him; it shocked Merlin that someone could be that tight in his pants.

_And he's not even hard…_

"Merlin! Are you even listening?!"

Blushing like a little schoolgirl caught doing something she was not supposed to, Merlin quickly brings his eyes up to meet Arthur's.

"Oh-uh, yeah…"

"Well?" Arthur seems to be getting even more frustrated by the second, "Aren't you going to fetch it for me?"

Merlin blinks absent mindedness, "Fetch what?"

Arthur raising his hand to his chin in mock thought replies, "Oh I don't know…A NEW SHIRT!"

"What's wrong with the old one? I think pink suits you…"

"Oh  _really_ …"

Merlin shuffles back and forth on his feet: the hint of sarcasm in Arthur's voice starts to haunt him. Arthur's gleaming slick abs, as if to taunt Merlin's stupidity, kept tugging Merlin's gaze towards them, and soon Merlin finds himself tracing the path down from Arthur's broad hairless chest to his muscular naval. It is absolutely not fair that Arthur gets such a big advantage in these arguments…would it kill him to have the decent to do these while wearing shirt?

_Probably would..._

"Well Merlin, since you seem to be such a fond of it, YOU can wear the shirt!"

Jaw dropped, Merlin starts stammering, "No Arthur, I can't…It wouldn't really match my skin tone…"

Grinning like the devil himself, Arthur picks up the recently discarded shirt up from the ground and hand it to him, "Oh but I insist…I'm sure the ladies swoon over a guy who is brave enough to wear the King's hand-me-downs…"

Shoving the shirt into Merlin's hands and after patting his back, Arthur starts pacing toward the door, but just before his dramatic exit, Arthur turns around with a smug expression.

"Oh by the way, since you transformed half my closet into Gwen's," Arthur eyeballs Merlin disgustedly, running his gaze over Merlin inattentively, "Make sure you muck out the stables before you fetch the horses!"

* * *

"Oh, but Arthur! These flowers are wonderful!" Gwen exclaims, tossing her arms around Arthur's neck as he hands her a bouquet of bright crimson orchids.

"And look: Merlin even made his outfit match them for the occasion," Arthur calls out, gearing his voice directly towards Merlin.

Craning his neck from behind the tree he was sitting beneath, Merlin does not know whether he is rolling his eyes because of Arthur's rude comment on his pink shirt or out of disgust as Gwen plants a kiss on Arthur's lips, but not before sending Merlin what he had come to call the "Royal Prat Smirk". Clearly Gwen has not learned: leave it to Arthur to take all the credit for Merlin's hard work.

"Hey! I picked those flowers…"

After he pulls away, Arthur glances over at Merlin, and since Arthur was sensing his discomfort, he winks and leans into Gwen to kiss her again, but this time he starts teasing her face, begging for her mouth to grant entrance.

"Oh, Now THAT is  _disgusting_ ," Merlin wails out from his isolated hide out.

"Mmm…" Arthur lets out as a fake moan as Gwen starts planting small butterfly kiss on to his neck, "Merlin, shouldn't you be picking firewood now, or at least doing something with your life that isn't completely useless?"

"Ugh, if I did, would you guys kill this monstrosity," Merlin waves his hands, gesturing towards the embracing lovers, "before I come back?"

Merlin utters under his breath as he leaves the unfortunately happy couple to their smothering kisses.

As if on cue, the resonance of crunching leaves fades signaling Merlin's departure. Gwen quickly pulls away from Arthur's embrace and gives him a rather scolding look.

"What?" Arthur pleads while making big, teary, innocent eyes.

Gwen collapses on to the picnic blanket, her skirts pooling around her like a flower's petals.

"Oh please, Arthur! I feel like a child bickering with her best friend over a rag doll!" Smoothing her skirts, more out of desperation to give her hands something to rather than for the actual act, Gwen gives Arthur a piercing interrogative look, "Can't you just tell him how you really feel?"

Huffing rather dramatically while forgetting whom he was speaking to, Arthur states,"I'm the King of Camelot. I do not have to answer to the likes of you..."

Gwen's brown eyes widen to the size of saucers at Arthur's sudden slip up; her mouth flew open and was gaping at the King before summoning her face quickly to the smirk it was at before Merlin left on his "quest".

"Now what?!" Arthur shrieked while squirming under Gwen's criticizing glare.

"It's just you are so used to the idea of spending every second of your life with Merlin that you just mistook me for him..."

Arthur's faces flushes to deep red crimson before he retorts, "Well Gwen: they do say love makes you do strange things."

Crinkling her eyebrows out of confusion, Guinevere gives Arthur yet another questioning look before stating, "If I didn't know any better I'd say that you were quoting Merlin..."

As if in response Arthur clenches his hands in fists while the muscles by his jaw jumps.

Gwen gasps in a deep breathe before backing up her accusations, "You were quoting Merlin, weren't you?!"

"Why on earth would someone willing requote any of the garbage that flows out of his mouth?" Arthur protests, but slowly he lets in a sly smirk before turning towards Gwen, "Besides if everything does go as planned, then I will be spending  _every_ second in my life with the idiot...just Merlin, me, some oil, and hours of nothing but-"

"I get your point!" Gwen cuts in out of embarassment and disgust, blushing an even deeper shade of brown as soon as she realized what the oil was for.

Recovering quickly she wastes no time in scolding him, "Hasn't anyone taught you manners?! It should be common sense that you do NOT tell your ex-fiancee about how you will be deflowering your current fiance on your wedding night...or, before you can say anything else, any other night!"

"Deflowering?  _Guinevere_ : despite all my mocking, Merlin is NOT a girl. You of all people should know that..."

Completely shocked at Arthur's ignorance, Gwen retaliates, "But its true! Perhaps he may be deflowering you as well..."

Arthur makes his infamous pouting face before he opens his mouth to protest.

"And don't you dare deny that!"

Arthur clamps his mouth shut like a child who has given up arguing with his parents. He only reopens it to state, "Well since you banned me from talking about my future post-marital activities during the night, we may as well talk about yours..."

Gwen heaved a sigh of relief before turning yet an even deeper shade of brown. With a death glare Gwen states rather tensely, "You'd be treading on thin ice if I answered that...considering it took forever for you to convince Lancelot to this whole scam engagement! So consider yourself lucky that you even have me here!"

Huffing with frustration and slight but of anger, before Arthur could even prepare to elaborate further details on how he would ravish Merlin in the  _day_ , the sound of clumsy footsteps approaching quickly snapped him back to the present.

_Merlin is back._

Gwen seemed to have noticed to because the next thing Arthur knew was that he was laying on his back being snogged to death by the servant whom Merlin  _assumed_  he was marrying tonight. They had to keep up this charade for only a few more hours, and Merlin would be his...for eternity...

It seemed to be working right now because Merlin dropped his wood pile and let out angry shout before crying, "Oh, my eyes! I thought I told you to be done with this by the time I get back?"

* * *

_**Three Years Later** _

"Merlin! Merlin, get up!" Arthur shouted while putting on his white tunic.

When he got no response, he walked over to where Merlin was sleeping on the right side of the bed before vigorously shook his husband's bare shoulder.

Merlin let out a moan of disdain before rolling over onto his side of the bed so there was as much distance between him and Arthur as possible.

"Ugh...'M sleepy: go away..."

Grasping the closest item to him, Arthur flung his rolled up stockings from last night at Merlin's face.

"Oh for crying out loud, did you forget what today is? Get your sodding ass out of bed already!"

Arthur screaming like a banshee seemed to wake Merlin. Who in their right mind could stand sleeping through  _that_?

"Um...I'm pretty sure it's Thursday..."

"You really are an idiot, aren't you?" Arthur asked while he tightened the leather belt over his trousers, "Do our wedding rings really mean nothing to you?"

Merlin blinked in confusion at Arthur before glancing down on the silver band he was wearing on the fourth finger of his right hand. Feigning disgust, Merlin states in a shocked voice, "How the hell did that get there?!"

Merlin could be a great actor sometimes, especially considering his magic secret he has kept hidden since his arrival in Camelot.

But even Merlin knew Arthur has had his practice keeping secrets as well, therefore making him capable at acting as well, "Oh well, if  _Mer_ -lin forgot our anniversary, I might have to take Gwen on a picnic instead!"

Merlin is now 110% awake as he accuses with his own pouty face, "Hey! I'm NOT the one who forgot! It's not  _my_ fault that I didn't wake up in the middle of our anniversary tradition with my husband's mouth around my cock!"

"Oh is that what this is about?" Arthur inquires as Merlin crosses his arms over his chest, "Well I can fix that..."


	2. Chapter 2

"Well, Gwaine, it seems that the cut on your arm is healing very nicely, although I must advise you to keep it away from any further agitation," Gaius said while he bandaged Gwaine's wound.

"Here is some salve to help prevent infection: apply twice a day and hopeful-"

"OH That is IT!"

Merlin come barging into Gaius's chambers, clearly oblivious to their plus one sitting on the spare bed. Merlin made a grab for the first bag like object and started packing up practically anything he could get his fingers on.

"I give up! On my life, my destiny, on Arthur! All of it! In fact I am going to go pack my things and leave right now..."

Gaius stared in horror as Merlin reached for a jar of leeches, which clearly just proved how much he was not thinking considering the amount of hate Merlin had for the bugs, "Perhaps you might want to settle down and think this through?"

Spinning around in anger and frustration, Merlin throws his hands up in the air before declaring, "Think  _what_  through exactly, Gaius?!"

Gauis stands there gaping at his nephew like a goldfish; usually Merlin's rants are just that: rants. It has never gotten so bad that Merlin decides he wants to toss aside all of his life and  _leave._

In a smooth voice, Gwaine broke the heavy tension by calmly stating, "What did the Princess do this time?"

But that doesn't seem to ease the tension one bit by instead adding more tension. Merlin sends his friend a death glare, which forces Gwaine to swallow any other words that would seem to follow, before returning his undivided attention to his surrogate father.

"Every little thing I do is for the  _prat,_  and do you know what he does? He sacks me! ME! Of all people!"

"Well to be fair, Merlin, you weren't the most competent servant..."

"Oh no! Not you too! I can't believe it...I swear him and Gwen are up to something! She told me the _same_ exact thing. It's like you guys are plotting something..."

Just realizing what he said, Merlin narrows his eyes and looks at Gaius very suspiciously before stating, "ARE you plotting something?!"

Gaius clears his throat and squirms in his stance while the young warlock's eyes scan his aging body as if he could detect lies. Gaius glances back at his patient for assistance, but Gwaine just sits there on top of the inpatient bed,  _shirtless_ , while wearing his stubble chin in a mocking smirk that said 'every man for himself'.

Focusing back on the fuming man in front of him, Gaius tries to divert the subject, "Where did you get that atrocious shirt Merlin?"

"Yeah Merlin! You look like a pretty flower...I'm sure all the ladies-er I meant gents-down at the tavern would want to have a go at you..."

Gwaine suddenly cuts himself off when Merlin turns his attention (and icy cold eyes) to him instead.

Suddenly an idea pops into his fuming mind, for Merlin runs into his room and returns with an arm load of pink tunics, "If you all are keen for a pink shirt all you needed to do was ask..."

The unsuspecting physician and knight who were originally wearing shocked masks are exchanging genuinely confused faces as Merlin tosses each a shirt from his stack.

"And oh, Gwaine, here's some for the rest of the knights...Please inform them kindly that King Arthur has requested that each one of them is to were these tunics instead of their ceremonial knight's armor to his wedding..."

"Didn't you just say you got sack-"

"Yes I did, but Arthur requested this  _before_  he dropped that bomb on me...And it's best not to keep His Royal Pratness," Merlin said while pulling a stunned Gwaine up from the bed and pushing him out the door, "So see you later at the feast..."

"But I thought you said you-"

Slamming the door in his friends face, Merlin turns around to face his guardian before apologizing very sheepishly, "I'm sorry Gaius for overreacting. It's just all this is stressing me: Arthur, Gwen, the wedding...and oh! Did I mention  _getting sacked_?"

Exhausted, Gaius heaves out a frustrated sigh before he gently remarks, "Yes, Merlin, I do believe you've mentioned that quite a bit...Did Arthur inform you of the reason why he was sacking you?"

Merlin plops himself down on a wooden bench before continuing, "And I can tell you it's not my fault that  _that clotpole_  decided he needs a new manservant since he's going to be a 'married man'...I can't imagine what it would be like to be married to the idiot: poor Gwen. I would pity her...if she wasn't turning into an arse herself!"

Gaius shuffles uneasily before inquiring in a gentle voice, "Guinevere is your oldest friend! Are you letting your feelings cloud your judgement again, Merlin?"

"Why should I answer that? It's like my opinion and feelings don't matter anymore," Merlin complains while he drops his head into the palms of his hands.

"Well Merlin, I wouldn't necessarily say that...I'm sure Arthur has other plans for you..."

Merlin's head shot up from his hands, "Aha! So you are in on this...or whatever  _this_  is! How could you, Gaius?! You're supposed be on _my_ side..."

Gaius raises what Merlin has grown to refer to secretly as his 'eyebrow of doom' before stating, "Merlin, I believe that all of Morgana's schemes seem to have gotten to your head...now all you are able to see in your friends are illusions of them going behind your back. I suggest you calm down."

Merlin looked as though he would have pressed the matter further if it had not been for the light knocking on the wooden door. After Gaius calls out his consent, fellow servant Merlin knew as George enters with and arm full of very expensive clothing.

"The King has sent down this outfit for you to wear at the wedding, Merlin," George states in a monotonous voice, "He has also requested that you arrive five minutes before the procession should start and that you actually try to be on time."

After setting the silky velvet materials down in Merlin's hands, George takes his leave.

Merlin smiles stupidly while he unfolds the deep royal blue tunic and the flowing white cape that had not a single splash of colour except for the gold and red Pendragon emblem sewn on it, "Arthur sent me this? These are clothes fit for the King himself!"

Turning to face his mentor, Merlin inquires, "Gaius, but why?"

Gaius, finding away out of Merlin's interrogation session, quickly remarks, "Arthur may have planned to sack you..."

"What do you mean?" Merlin asks while he furrows his eyebrows.

"Well as you can see, Merlin, Arthur may have sacked you so you could be an honoured guest...

"I get that, but why would he go through all this trouble? I mean in his mind, I'm only his servant..."

"Well Merlin, maybe it is you who gives him less credit than he deserves and not the other way around..."

Merlin flushes a deep red out of embarrassment before replying calmly, "Yeah, I guess I do..."

Now with new thoughts to occupy his mind, Merlin forgets his anger and picks up the gifts as he makes his way to his bedroom.

* * *

"Sorry!" Merlin shouts as he tries to dodge a fellow servant carrying supplies towards the dining hall.

Unfortunately Merlin's attempt to breeze by quickly was a 'epic fail', for the servant drops his arm load eating utensils, sending them scattering all over the corridor.

A rush of guilt claims him as Merlin stops mid-step and twists around to help the poor boy.

_Arthur is going to kill me for being late..._

But Merlin's soul would not let him sleep if he did not help the boy; after all, it was his fault that the younger man would be late to attend his duties.

The boy had already begun to gather the spoons and forks with his back towards Merlin, muttering curse words at royalty while he collected them. With the boy distracted, Merlin took this opportunity to whisper a swift spell to pull the silverware that had been discarded at the furthest corners towards him. Once all the materials gathered near his feet, Merlin checked over his shoulder at the poor boy, whom was still bent over gathering his manually, and bent over to quickly collect his share of the utensils before carrying them over to be dumped into the boy's box.

The clanging noise of the silverware being dropped into the box seemed to bring the young page out of his daze, for the next thing Merlin sees is the boy's head snapping up to look at him with those huge, brown saucers.

Yet the gratitude seemed to only last for a mere second because the boy's shining eyes quickly darken with recognition.

Merlin seems confused at first, but he soon recognizes the boy as Wart, one of the kitchen boys; however, that does not explain why Wart is staring at him as if Merlin was a dragon.

"I-I-I'm terrib-ly sor-ry, M-m-my Lord!" The boy stammers once he has found enough courage to, "I was not looking where I was going: It's my fault! Now you will be late for the wedding..."

Stunned at the fact that the boy was blaming himself for something that was entirely Merlin's fault, all Merlin was able to say back was, "'My Lord?' Wart, it's me: Merlin! We have no need for such prattish titles, unlike some people...besides: we are both servants!"

Just when Merlin thought the boys eyes could not get wider, Wart's eyes now look like they were bulging out of his skull, "But, Sire: there is every need!"

Goosebumps start to crawl all over Merlin's skin as chills run down his spine.

"What do you mean?" Merlin croaks out of his parched throat, "If it's about the clothes, I'm only wearing them for the Royal Wedding..."

"Your Wedding!" Wart seems to jump out of his skin as he quickly picks up his box with the silverware, "I'm so sorry for keeping you from it! I hope you would please find the kindness in your heart to forgive me, My Lord..."

With a quick bow to Merlin, Wart retreats to continue his original mission, leaving Merlin even more confused than he already was.

Desperate not to be a moment later, Merlin scrambles down the last leg of the corridors before he finds the antechamber to the ceremonial throne room.

Merlin lets out a huge sigh of relief when he is greeted by the sight of Gwen standing there in her beautiful purple, crystal-covered flowing gown, still waiting to walk down the aisle to meet her king and groom. If Merlin was artistically talented, he would have painted a portrait of his oldest friend like that: a portrait of the Queen she really was deep down on the inside. Maybe one day there will be a way to capture moments like this despite one's lack of artistic ability...

But since that day was not today, Merlin would be content at staring at his angelic friend while the sun shone through the windows forming a halo type glow around her figure, but the jealous part of Merlin's mind made Gwen seem to loose her glow.

"You look lovely..." Merlin utters, trying to quench the lump that was building in his throat.

Gwen suddenly twirls around graciously at the sound of Merlin's voice.

"Merlin!" Gwen smiles brightly as she glides over to stand next to him, "I was beginning to worry you wouldn't show! I mean Arthur expected you'd be late..."

Gwen pauses, giving him a slightly worried look before stating in a very sympathetic voice, "He's never going to let you live this down, you know?"

Merlin nods his head, willing the bitterness to be swallowed down his throat. While Gwen studies his face, his tear ducts choose this moment to start to well up. If only his tears could wait to fall when he can make them pass as tears of joy!

Turning his back to Gwen, Merlin quickly wipes away the wetness out of his eyes before it stained his face, or worse Gwen noticed; however, Gwen knew her friend to well.

"Merlin, it's alright," she said as she moved in to give her skinny friend a tight hug, "Everything is going to be alright."

"How, Gwen?!" Merlin snapped with sudden rage, cringing away from his dearest friend's welcoming arms, "How is everything going to be alright?"

If one said Gwen looked shocked, that would have been an understatement. In all the years that she knew him, Merlin has  _never_  allowed anyone to see his true emotions, let alone snapped at her like this before.

But as quickly as the words had left his mouth, Merlin had crumbled in apologizes, begging her for mercy.

"Gwen, please forgive me! I can't believe I did that...I feel so ashamed..." Merlin was crying at this point, "Please I didn't me-"

"Merlin!" Gwen said silencing the half-sobbing, half-kneeling man before her with a tight embrace, "There is nothing to be forgiven."

Composing herself to her newly Lady-ship status, Gwen collapsed her hands in Merlin's as she helped raise him to his feet.

"I am not shocked at the fact you stated that, Merlin..." Gwen began cautiously.

_This is it...One screw up and all Arthur and I have worked for will be diminished..._

"Merlin, I am more shocked at the fact that Arthur hadn't told you..."

"Told me what?" Merlin looks down into her eyes with genuine wonder.

"You mean you didn't know?" Gwen pauses, slightly frowning as the man before her shakes his head slowly, "Merlin, I'm going to ask you one question and you must answer honestly, okay?"

Merlin ponders for a moment before nodding his head very cautiously.

"Merlin, do you, truly, love Arthur?"

Merlin was stunned; of all the questions Gwen could have asked, did it have to be this? And on  _her_  wedding day?

Merlin thought about lying, but this was Gwen he just promised he wouldn't.

Just as he was about to answer her question, the trumpets announcing the bride's arrival sounded for the throne room. The doors would be opened any minute now and instead of seeing Guinevere, the new Queen of Camelot, the people will get Merlin, the Gaping Broken-Hearted Fish!

"Merlin! We don't have much time..." Gwen began is sudden urgency as she clings to Merlin's arm, "If you truly love Arthur, and I know that you do, you will do exactly as I say..."

Merlin swallows the panic down his throat and nods urgently while the old wooden doors slowly creak open.

"Good," Gwen suddenly breaks into a wicked grin before stating devilishly, "Now I shall escort you to your groom..."

Gwen was quick to recover, pulling on a mask of perfection as she tugged Merlin's arm, telling the utterly confused warlock to follow.

_Wait! To MY wedding?!_

* * *

As soon as the trumpets sounded, Arthur snapped out of his worried daze as he quickly turned his head expectantly towards the huge oak doors at the entrance of the hall. If everything had gone right, Arthur would walk out of here a married man, a  _happily_  married man.

However if even the tiniest thing was misunderstood or twisted in the slightest way, Arthur would be the idiot king whose fiancé had ditched at the altar.

He tensed his shoulders as the doors slowly creaked open, centimeter by centimeter, but his muscles started to relax as his true love appeared at the doors, arm linked with his best adviser.

_Beautiful._

That is all Arthur's now suddenly limited knowledge could describe him as. The man with beautiful deep crystal blue eyes sparkling in surprise and sudden joy matched the colour of the deep royal blue tunic. His virgin white cloak was being dragged, trailing behind him, along the red carpet.

It was at this moment Arthur realized what people meant when the love of your life made it down the aisle to be wed to you; it was as if your eyes were only meant for him. Nothing else mattered: nothing. Just you, your lover, and becoming one...

Arthur could stare at Merlin for all of eternity as he elegantly walked his way down the aisle, a smile growing on his luscious, pink lips that were now only a few meters away...

And just when Arthur thought everything was going to run smoothly, of course Merlin would manage to ruin the moment by nearly tripping over his own two feet. Arthur fought the urge to roll his eyes: the situation was delicate enough without him adding any more reason for Merlin to feel left out.

As giggles echoed through out the crown, Merlin's blush deepen into a fiery red. But as quick as it appeared, the blush faded the moment his eyes locked with Arthur's gleaming ones. All these years he had waited for that moment when Arthur would look at him with this much pride.

Never had he thought that it would be on Arthur's, no his, no  _their_ , wedding day!

When they finally reached the end of the aisle, Gwen's grip squeezed gently on his forearm before letting him go so she could be stand amongst the audience. Having his attention on Arthur since the moment he walked in to the room, Merlin had not been able to observe anything else. Only when Gwen stood next to Lancelot did Merlin notice all his friends standing next to her in the front row: Gaius, Gwaine (along with the rest of the knights), Morgana,  _his mother_...

_His mother?!_

Hunith smiled tenderly before giving a knowing nod at him.

Arthur: that _bastard!_  Of course he would have gotten her in on this too...

With a brief nod back, Merlin once more turned his undivided attention back to Arthur.

And it was as if he was taking him in a new light to: Arthur stood before him wearing his lightest coloured, almost white, ceremonial chain mail that was beautifully contrasted with the deep Pendragon red cloak billowing behind him. His golden crown, the one he had not worn since coronation as King, rest upon his golden locks, almost like a halo. The sun's rays seemed to reach out from behind Arthur creating a soft cloud of innocence around him that Merlin had never known was there.

Taking a gulp of air in, Merlin walked slowly up to the steps and bowed slightly before the Once and Future King.

Seeing this simple act of submitting as a yes, Arthur nodded at Geoffrey to begin his speech.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have gathered here to day to celebrate the ancient rite of handfasting..."

Merlin took this moment to reach for Arthur's hand and entwine their fingers together. He started to drone out the old librarian's voice as he gazed into Arthur's shining eyes. For some reason though, Merlin was getting slightly queasy vibes coming from Arthur, as if there was still one more thing he was hiding...

"...union of Arthur Pendragon, Son of the Late King Uther, and Merlin, son of the Balinor, the Last Dragonlord..."

_WHAT?!_

Merlin snapped back into full attention as Geoffrey announced his father's name. Squinting his eyes slightly, Merlin looked at Arthur for his reaction, but he seemed more relaxed now that the line was read than he was before.

_That bastard knew! Does he know about my magic?_

Arthur must have seen the question written on his face, for the next thing Arthur does is give Merlin a genuine smile and nod.

Merlin felt tears well into the corners of his eyes.

"...do any say nay?"

Arthur tensed up again, almost daring someone to ruin this moment so he could have them hanged, but when no one came forth, Arthur breathed a sigh of relief as Geoffrey continued.

"...and so by tying this knot, and doing so tying your hearts in marriage..."

"Wait!" Merlin said softly.

Arthur tensed again: he had done it..he truly had ruined everything now...Merlin was going to reject him in public, and now the only legacy Arthur would have would be that of the Prat King who got dumped by his (ex) manservant!

"Arthur, there's something I want, no  _need_ , to say before anything else happens..."

Arthur froze; his heart stopping mid beat.

"Arthur Pendragon, ever since I came to Camelot, I have been told my destiny was to protect you, to be with you. Arthur, I have been in love with you since the very first day I laid eyes on you...despite your clotpole-ish attitude sometimes, I have grown to love you more than anything...Arthur I would die a thousand deaths for you.."

Arthur's heart was shattering at the truthfulness in Merlin's strong voice as it faltered, and there was nothing Arthur wanted more than to embrace him, but that would not be very professional.

_"Arthur, I will love you, till the day I die..."_

Arthur, overcome with emotions, had no ideas for how he should respond to that beautiful monologue Merlin just spoke, written from his heart, but his body and tongue seemed to have a different idea.

Arthur slowly reached his hand up to cup Merlin's cheek before saying, "And I have, am and always will be in love with you, Merlin...I would fight a thousand armies to be with you..."

Arthur had always been emotionally stunted, but if there ever was a moment to admit this, it was now.

"Merlin, nothing compares to the power of true love...nothing matters to me more than you..."

Geoffrey cleared his throat, forcing both tearful young men back to the present.

Wrapping up his speech, Geoffrey proclaimed, "I now pronounce King and Royal Consort. You may now kiss your..."

"Merlin," Arthur whispered softly, "My Merlin..."

Merlin smiled fondly at his husband before whispering so only Arthur could hear, "Yes, your Merlin..."

* * *

_**Three Years Later** _

And as Merlin thought about this moment while he clambered upon his horse: the one thing he knew he would never,  _ever_ forget _,_ about Arthur was their first kiss.

But things will never turn out how you expect...


	3. Chapter 3

"MER-LIN! I thought I told you to pack an extra change of clothes!"

Merlin glances up from his saddle bag as Arthur bellows after him; it has been three years, and Arthur still sometimes forgets that he is not his servant.

Merlin smiles to himself as he lightly shakes his head before stating, "Arthur, are you sure you didn't mean George?"

Arthur looks up from his own horse, offended, while he fiddles with the saddle strap, "No Mer-lin, I told you to pack it this morning!"

"What...when?" Merlin asks genuinely curious.

"Oh I don't know...how about right after I finished sucking at your completely spoiled cock..."

The tips of Merlin's ears turn red at Arthur's openness, especially since they were standing in the middle of the courtyard where anyone could over hear them. Merlin wished Arthur would stop this before they attracted any more attention than they already were.

But no Arthur just had to stop whatever he was doing so he could stare Merlin down.

Arthur, sensing Merlin's discomfort, continued to scold him, smirking while he did, "Maybe I should punish that pampered member of yours: I mean seriously: ever since I met it, I don't understand how you still have the nerve to call me a 'prat'!"

"Arthur..." Merlin rumbled in a low warning tone, yet Arthur being Arthur continued ignoring him.

"How about I tie your cock up with the rest of your bits so you won't get release until I say. That would surely teach you a lesson, wouldn't it, Mer-lin?"

Normally Merlin's upstairs brain would have been appalled by the thought of Arthur being so controlling, but his mouth watered at the thought of Arthur being possessive enough to punish him in such a way.

But this nonsense had to stop before Merlin's body would become the kitchen gossip of the week...and not in the good kind of way...

"Arthur, I really don't think we should..."

"Oh! I know: how about I chain you to the dungeon walls, have you there until you beg me to fuck you so hard that you will be crying for me to never leave you?!"

"Arthur..." Merlin rasps in a hoarse, needy voice.

"But we can't have that because you would enjoy that wouldn't you, Mer-lin?"

Merlin almost nods in agreement too, almost...

Merlin quickly ducks his head, busying himself with his own horse's saddle; however, Arthur has already seen the agreement in his eyes, let alone how dilated his pupils have gotten.

Smiling smugly, Arthur continued to talk so crudely, clearly oblivious to the small crowd he was gathering, "And the point of this was so I could punish you for your forgetfulness, now wasn't it? Perhaps I should make you beg for me to suck your cock every time for the rest of eternity...can you do that, Mer-lin?"

Merlin cringed inwardly before he let the anger inside him bubble up to the surface. Arthur has always used Merlin to his advantage like this, often indirectly causing him public humiliation, like now how his trousers were starting to constrict.

"No, that would be too enjoyable for you still..how about I ordered you on your knees...right here, right now?"

Looking at Arthur at a time of such desperation was impossible.

But when Merlin focused his gaze behind Arthur, the smirk on Arthur's face was mirrored on his face, and of course Arthur was to thick to notice the sudden change in Merlin's demeanor until he heard Gwen clear her throat.

"Guinevere!" Arthur exclaimed, "What a pleasant surprise!"

Gwen, who was doing a much better job at hiding her smirk, tilted her head innocently before inquiring, "Surprise? Arthur, I've been standing here for five minutes..."

Arthur's jaw dropped, his eyes bulging in shock while his mind raced to wonder if innocent Gwen's ears ahd been despoiled but his earlier bantering...At very least, the poor girl would have nightmares for a week.

But he was able to quickly recompose himself before stating, "Please accept my apologizes for keeping you waiting, my lady."

Arthur bowed forward slightly while he planted a kiss on the hand of a very embarrassed, yet please, Guinevere.

Being King did have its perks: especially when it came to his ability to mask all of his emotions (which Merlin denied and claimed that Arthur was 'emotionally constipated'...which he was NOT...).

"Mmm-HMM!" Merlin cleared his voice a little louder than necessary; jealousy was practically seething out of his ears.

Gwen quickly snatched her hand back from Arthur before beaming innocently at her dark-haired friend.

"I knew Merlin would forget something, so I asked George to bring your spare garments for the trip..."

"I did NOT forget!" Merlin piped in from behind his friends.

"...And the rest of the stuff that is necessary for this trip..." Gwen said directed more towards Merlin than Arthur.

Arthur raised his eyebrows as if to dig this suddenly intriguing information from the woman in front of him before turning his gaze towards his lover, who just stared back in an emotionless face.

"Thanks, Gwen," Merlin murmured in a very worshipping voice before he continued to hug her.

"And, Merlin?" She whispered softly into his left ear.

"Hmm?"

"I still can't believe you take orders from him, even if it's in the privacy of your chambers..."

Merlin pulled away with shock at what his innocent little Guinevere just told him. Gwen smirked when she released a stunned Merlin and made her way back to the castle.

"Merlin, when I say you can pick a picnic spot I meant somewhere near the outskirts of the city, NOT in the middle of God knows where!" Arthur exclaimed after he nearly stumbled over yet another log.

"But you got to pick the spot last time!" Merlin lifted his foot over the shrub, "Besides, you have no right to complain considering we spent half the time defending Gwaine from the bees!"

For the first time since they left their horses on the outskirts of the forest, Arthur laughed, his voice echoing through nature silence in of the woods. Merlin rolled his eyes, yet he was not able to keep the goofy grin off his face.

When Arthur caught his breath again, he said gleefully, "Oh my god, Merlin! I can still see the look on Gwaine's face when they started chasing..."

Merlin turned around to look at Arthur, but as soon as they made eye contact, they both burst into another round of laughter.

Merlin composed himself first before stating, "And that is why I get to pick the picnic place...here there are no bees..."

"Or Gwaine..." Arthur muttered under his breath as he scrambled to catch up with his partner. "But I still don't understand why we had to come all the way out here for a picnic! I get the whole privacy thing, but there are still secluded areas near the city."

Merlin hummed in agreement while he ventured on through the woods.

"Merlin, if I didn't know you better, I'd say you were hiding something..."

Merlin's back stiffened for a second, but that second did not go unnoticed by his king.

"But you are hiding something, aren't you, Mer-lin?" Arthur spat a little more bitterly than he hoped as Merlin turned around to face him.

"Arthur...there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about..."

Whenever Merlin usually said that, it never meant anything good. If it was Arthur's lucky day, it would be a confession on how Merlin used to use his magic to prank Arthur. If it was not a good day, it would be about the much darker things Merlin had done such as the time he poisoned Morgana.

"Will I have to sit down for this?" Arthur asked in a grave tone that was matched by Merlin's serious face.

"No actually..." Merlin stated as he began to kneel before a very confused Arthur.

"Arthur, do you remember what I told you when we got married?"

Arthur looked at his glowing lover before him as he replied, "Of course...I could never forget."

Arthur reached out and stroked his fingers down Merlin's cheekbones before bringing them under his jaw so he could tilt Merlin's head up to meet his eyes.

"You said, 'I will love you, till the day I die,'" Arthur smiled fondly at the memory as did Merlin, except tears were forming in the latter's eyes.

"Yes I did," Merlin said sniffling a little, causing Arthur's heart to warm, "But that's not true.."

Suddenly Arthur's heart stop beating as his whole world came crashing down. He doubted that he could even breathe again, and who would blame him? The one person he loved just told him his loved was not true...Arthur should have listened to Morgana when she scolded him after he told her his plans for a surprise wedding...Merlin had only married him out of duty, not love...

Arthur snapped back to the present as a sheepish Merlin continued, "Arthur, I will not love you till the day I day...Rather I will love you for all of eternity. The love I have for you surpasses the power of death: I will love you even after I am gone..."

Arthur felt his heart jerk back into a steady rhythm, but it seemed to have melted by now out of the sudden rush of joy, relief, and happiness he felt.

"And I will love you beyond eternity too, Merlin..." Arthur cupped Merlin's face as he bent down to plant a reassuring kiss on to those pouting lips.

"Are you sure, Arthur? Cause if you are not, we don't have to do this..."

"Do what, Merlin?" Arthur asked, even more befuddled than before.

"What do you think?! Are you really so thick that you did not see what I've been reading all week?" With a glance at Arthur's bewildred face, Merlin stated, "Don't answer that...What I have been doing the past few weeks is looking for a spell...A spell that would bind our souls eternally..."

Arthur's jaw dropped at the sudden proposal Merlin stated; he has never yearned for someone half as much as he did for Merlin. To be bound to Merlin for a lifetime would have left him content...but to be bound to Merlin forever till the end of time: that would officially make Arthur the happiest and luckiest man to ever have walked the planet.

"Merlin...please tell me you found a way..."

Merlin grinned wickedly before stating, "There is one way, but I'm not sure how much you will like it..."

"What? How?" Arthur stated eagerly, "You know I'd do anything for this to become possible..."

"Well it involves the deepest and oldest magics of the earth-which is why I brought you here- and it involves submission..."

Arthur pouted and growled, "Submission? What does that mean, Merlin?"

"It means you must submit, Arthur, to the world's greatest wizard-me!"

"To the most powerful? I won't...but the world's clumsiest? I would keep submitting for eternity..."

"So I take that as a yes?"

"Yes, Mer-lin...I said yes!" Arthur exclaimed in an overly excited tone and then coughed to cover his slip up, "I think my father may have been right about one thing...you do have some sort of mental affliction!"

Merlin lunged at Arthur, throwing his entire wait on the unsuspecting man before attacking his pink, kissable lips with his open mouth. Their tongues met in a ferocious battle to as the fought for control.

Usually Merlin was not like this: he would rather have Arthur instigate any intimacy between the two as an act of submission to the king, but now with this new beastly, desperate side of Merlin brought to light, Arthur was finding it hard to persist in his initial dominance, rather letting Merlin take the lead.

Merlin began to push Arthur down ino the ground, covering Arthur's body with his own, like his favourite blanket during the winter months. Merlin's tongue slid against his mercilessly as Arthur began to moan shamelessly, flinging his legs wider to allow Merlin's body access to grasp him even more; as Merlin lowered his slightly bony frame over Arthur hunky one, the first thing Arthur was able to feel was Merlin's hardness against his own. Merlin began to rub them together, still fully clothed, as he brought much needed friction between the two lovers.

Here was the King of Camelot, powerful enough to be feared by all of Albion, lying on the muddy floor of an enchanted forest being ravished by a skinny man with large ears; and he was not able to pay attention to anything other than his lover, despite them being on display for all of the woodland inhabitants.

After blindly loosening the belt around Arthur's waist, Merlin slid his hands up under Arthur's shirt and along his muscular torso, exploring and mapping every little crevice in the almost flawless skin. His fingers barely grazing along the slightly faded abdominal muscle lines. Merlin moaned into Arthur's mouth as he began to slow down his kissing assault, much to Arthur's detest.

Eventually Merlin pulled his tongue out of Arthur's pouting frown; at first Arthur felt a flood of disappointment engulf his heart as Merlin started to freeze on top of him, not moving the slightest centimeter.

"Merlin?" Arthur croaked out of his parched throat, hoarse with desperate need to get off as soon as possible.

"Shhh..." Merlin hushed causing Arthur's heart to stop at the sudden abruptness and urgency in his husband's tone.

Lowering his head close to Arthur's ear, Merlin whispered ever so slightly, "He's here..."

Arthur jolted up, nearly throwing the scrawny, yet not so light, man on top of him as his hand instinctively reached out right for a sword that was not there.

Arthur's panicked eyes met Merlin's serene ones in shock, for who could possible be here in the middle of the woods an not want to harm them?

"No, Arthur, if you use threats or weapons," Merlin began in a hushed scolding voice, "you will scare him away..."

"Scare who?" Arthur bit back bitterly.

"Cernunnous..." Merlin muttered as he started past Arthur blankly with a neutral expression.

Having the feeling that someone was behind him, Arthur suddenly twisted his head around to see what could possible be holding Merlin's attention more than him. Craning his neck a little farther, Arthur looked up at the figure that stood behind him in disbelief at what he saw.

A well muscled, fit man stood behind him: his tan, dusty skin naked without a stitch of clothing to cover his achingly large manhood. His body glistening with sheer sweat that cover ever inch of him, while blue, woad dragon tattoos twisted up along his forearms. His face, which was covered with a mask that had the tiniest most intriquite designs and symbols on it that he had ever seen; not even the masks in Camelot could compare to this man's. But his golden brown tan, nor his muscles, or even his impressive organ could drive Arthur's attention away from the mysterious man's biggest feature: his deer antlers growing from the roots of his head.

After what seemed to be hours of silence, the deer-man rasied his arm up until he pointed his finger to Merlin, "Emrys..."

Arthur's mind began to spin...had not Merlin told him that is what the Druids called Merlin?

Druids and schizophrenic old sorcerers...That's what Merlin had said.

Arthur would have smiled fondly at the memory if it had not been for the seriousness of the situation.

Instead Arthur leaned over to his deadly still lover and whispered hurriedly, "Merlin, who is this, and how does he know who you are?"

Either Merlin chose to ignore or he just was not able to hear Arthur.

"Cernunnous..." Merlin muttered in a spiteful voice, which wavered slightly as he tried to keep bile from rising in his mouth, "You have no right to be here..."

"I have no right?" said the booming voice of the deer-man, "You have not only brought yourselves into my realm, but you have come with the intent for soul-bonding which you have not sought permission for from the gods of Beltane..."

Arthur felt the man next to him go rigid; his face draining of blood and turning into a stone of pure white as he clenched his thin, magic fingers into taut fists.

With sudden rage and new determination Merlin erupts at the god before him, "I am Emrys: son of Balinor, the savior of our race, yet you will deny me this one right?!"

"I do not deny you anything..." Cernunnous says grimly, "I only do as I am command-ed by the old religion's priest-tess..."

His sentence falters at the end, as if it pains him to gasp out the last set of words.

"Merlin..." Arthur treads carefully, knowing how much can be destroyed from Merlin's pure rage. Despite what Merlin claims, Arthur has seen enough enchantments that take control of the people around him; in fact, he had been enchanted enough times himself!

"He's not himself, Merlin.." Arthur warns desperately.

"He can't be enchanted! He's a GOD..." Merlin shoots back, his mind flooding in disbelief at his own words.

"God or no god, Merlin, he's under an enchantment!"

"Emrys...I cannot allow this to happen..." the Stag God mutters, "My mas-ter has to-old me-e...Your destiny was to protect the King of Briton, not this..."

Merlin looked enraged as the man gave them a pointed look of disgust, so when he replied back in a mild tone of love and affection, he shocked all three of them.

"No: my fate was only to protect Arthur...but my destiny was to make him the best king Albion has ever known..."

Merlin reached out to grasp Arthur's hand almost unconsciously; his long, elegant, sorcerer fingers entwining with Arthur's coarse, warrior ones. Merlin caught Arthur's proud and shining eyes before continuing.

"And the best kings in history are those who have the love of their people, families, friends...and their other half's..." Merlin turned his attention directly towards Arthur before stating, "And I am your half, Arthur...I am the other side of your coin..."

Arthur felt his knees weaken at the shear words of destiny itself...How often Merlin was told this in the past by the Dragon, his mother, Gaius...Nothing could have been more true than that statement...

Arthur's tension started to erode away as he let his guard down, for the moment of love overpowered him and his better judgment.

Life's all about moments, of impact, and how they change your life...forever...

And it was this moment that would prove to be most fatal...It was that one moment of weakness that led to the end of life as he or Merlin had come to know...That moment that Arthur had forgotten the eminent disaster lingering in the air...It was this moment that Arthur will lose the only thing that had ever truly mattered to him...This moment: if you gave Arthur a second chance to redo it, he still would have been too stunned to correct his error...

With his reflexes blinded by his love for Merlin, Arthur lost track of all that was happening in his surroundings.

"Emrys!" hissed the god of manhood and soulmates, "I must relieve you of your destiny..."

Merlin gasped in shock as he stuttered back, slightly leaning on to Arthur, "Arthur was right: this isn't Cernunnous...You never were Cernunnous..."

As soon as he heard that statement, the man began to shift: his body beginning to alter its shape into that of a deer's; his body was melting away and was now barely visible yet still stood its presence like a ghost...

"You will pay for this..." rumbled a deep beastly voice from the buck in front of them...

"Arthur, we need to get out of here..." Merlin gasped out at Arthur before muttering an echantment. "Gebiede ic þone feorhberend þære ealdaþ æ!"

Arthur waited. There was no way that he would leave Merlin behind. His arms flayed helplessly around for a weapon, any weapon, yet he couldn't find one.

Merlin tensed, yet Arthur's mind was already to sluggish to comprehend what was happening; the Stag King apparition like figure shifted as it flew its way towards Arthur, with the aim that could take his life and soul.

"Gebiede ic þone feorhberend þære ealdaþ æ! Gebiede ic þone feorhberend þære ealdaþ æ!" Merlin shouted helplessly at the figure quickly approaching Arthur.

The fact that Merlin's magic was helpless against the ghost, Arthur felt helplessness seep in to his body, felt what ever damsel in distress that he had ever saved come to haunt him as he stood motionless accepting his faith.

"ARTHUR!" Merlin shrieked.

The next thing Arthur knew was Merlin's hand was clamped on his shoulder, dragging Arthur down to the ground, but that would not stop the stag ghost from approaching.

By the time Arthur's mind caught up with him, Merlin had clambered up and was running towards the shadow.

"Merlin, NOOOOO!" Arthur shouted with ever ounce of energy left.

But it was too late. Merlin was hit and was sprawled upon the cool, damp forest floor. Arthur forced himself up, forgetting the injuries of his own in fear for his lover.

"Merlin..." Arthur croaked as he knelt beside the lifeless, deathly-white body.

He scooped up the Merlin's head and cradled it against his chest before letting his tears fstream down his own pale cheek, "Merlin...You id-iot..."

Arthur cradled his husband's head even closer to his broken, beating heart as tears streamed down his face and on to the angel's in his lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cernunnous is a Celtic God that I obviously didn't feel like researching...his name sounded cool so that's basically why I chose him...So if any of you ever have to do a report on the guy, DO NOT USE THIS AS REFERENCE! LOL XD
> 
> Also the other thing I want to address now that you've read the chapter is that you will get answers later on in the story on who this "God" was, or what he was...and yes he was under the control of someone...


	4. Chapter 4

Time lagged on. Had five minutes passed? Or was it ten? Or perhaps it was an hour, or hours?

Arthur cradled Merlin's heavy, dark head against the curve of his neck while he wrapped his arm's around the slimmer man's waist. The cool feathery feeling of Merlin's hair brushed against his neck while Arthur clung to Merlin's lifeless figure in his lap, hoping some his strength would diffuse into the wrecked man.

Once the initial shock of the situation died down a bit, Arthur's brain began to unfreeze and took in the severity of the situation. Arthur felt those tears that he did not even know he was capable of shedding, stop prickling down his face because by now, his tear ducts had run dry.

No man is worth your tears, Merlin...

Oh, what a fool he was back then! The man who Arthur has now become would have killed the man that he was then for saying such an insensitive lie.

"You are worth my tears, Merlin," Arthur croaked from his parched throat, "You are worth everything this world has to offer, because even everything would not be enough..."

Feeling the icy cold vibe coming from Merlin's body, Arthur quickly took off his linen tunic, leaving himself more exposed than he normally would have liked to be, ripped it down the middle, and wrapped it around Merlin. Arthur doubted that it would do much, but anything was better than nothing. He knew that the only way he would be able to help Merlin at all was to get him back to Camelot where Gaius would be able to treat him.

If the roles were reversed, Merlin would know what to do and how to heal Arthur, or at least keep him from getting worse. True, he would have had a magical advantage, but Merlin was sensible: he thought his decisions through. Perhaps all those years being Arthur's manservant had taught him that.

But in contrast, Arthur was a warrior: kill first, ask questions later. Ever since he could walk that had been his motto. Arthur was one to act on impulse, and if his impulse was to sit with Merlin in his lap and cry for the better part of the day, then that was the only thing he was capable of doing.

Anger began to pulse through his veins as Arthur clambered up from the forest floor: no, Arthur would not sit here and watch the man he loved die! It was the anger that flustered him enough to get his mind to work as Arthur heaved up Merlin's now feather light body and gently drapped him over his own shoulders.

Arthur glanced to his right at his, hopefully, unconscious husband, praying to the gods that Merlin would once again be alive and well...or at very least alive...

Anything would be better than Merlin's death...

Arthur thought as he stumbled his way through the thick vegetation surrounding him.

Anything.

If only Arthur knew how wrong he really was then...

"Lance?" asked a honey sweet voice that could only belong to the sweetest of women, except it lacked the smoothness that it normally had.

"Hm?" Lancelot hummed in reply as he regretfully turned his gaze, dropping all the tools he was using to sharpen his sword, to his broken wife, "Gwen? What is it?"

He quickly rushed to Guinevere's side to wear she sat on their bad in her night-gown; she clutched her still flat abdomen, clinging to it as a life source. Seeing the grave look and despair on her face, Lancelot immediately launched into interrogation mode.

"Are you feeling well? Is it the baby? Do you need me to call Gaius?"

Gwen smiled weakly at her husband's concern while she shook her head at his overprotective nature. Gwen took a moment to fully admire the affection and worry Lancelot had for her and their unborn child.

"The baby and I are both fine..."

Upon hearing this Lancelot's shoulders sagged slightly in relief, but his concern did not seem to be disappearing any time soon.

"Then what can it be, Gwen?" Lancelot asked in a calmer, more reserved way than he had previously.

"I think something went wrong..." Gwen began as she fiddled with the trimming of her gown sleeve, "You know: with Merlin and Arthur..."

Lancelot's interest piqued again with the mention of his long time friend and his king. Gwen admired how Lance never questioned her affections for him or for Arthur: one person could love two people at the same time: she had proven that.

And Lancelot knew that no matter how much she loved Arthur, he would be the one she would pick at the end of the day. All that love and energy she had for Arthur was quickly been converted to the love between a brother and a sister...

"What do you mean something is wrong, Gwen? If something has happened we must act quickly defend our King and his Consort!"

Gwen felt the rush of affection well up in her heart at her husband's desperation to fix a wrong he never committed. They both knew very well that Arthur had clearly forgiven their relationship, yet Lancelot had never accept it possible, so he was constantly trying to prove himself to Arthur, earning him the King's affections.

"Merlin told me he and Arthur would be back by supper," Gwen's hands traveled down to the tips of her now silky long hair and stated worriedly "yet they never showed..."

Lancelot did not need to wait to hear the end of her statement to already pounce at his sword and had already begun to put on his chain mail.

"We must summon the knights into a search party," Briskly turning to face his wife, Lancelot ushered in a tense voice, "Gwen, do you have any idea of where they are or where they might be?"

Gwen furrowed her eyebrows, concentrating deeply, before sighing desperately and stating, "No, I don't..."

Lancelot's straight posture was let down on Gwen's unfortunate news, his hand faltering slightly as he tied his leather sword belt around his waist.

And idea is suddenly formed in Gwen's mind as she springs to life saying with excessive glee, "However, I might know someone who could help..."

Lancelot's head shoots up to look into Gwen's eyes, "Who, Gwen? Who can help us find Merlin?"

OH...

The extreme eagerness from Lancelot suddenly explained itself: Lancelot was not just doing this for Arthur, he was doing this for Merlin. All the events in the past years came tumbling down, and they only pointed in one direction: Lancelot had always been there for Merlin first. His loyalties lay with the young warlock, not the golden king.

When Arthur had called that one council with his court all those years ago, he had asked his best knights' approval to wed a young, loyal warlock which he claimed was necessary to bring the land into peace. While many believed him, Lancelot was the only one able to see through his farce.

Gwen only came to know of this months after her own marriage, but right after that meeting Lancelot had taken Arthur aside to warn him that he would support Arthur through life and marriage with Merlin; however if he ever broke Merlin's heart, Lancelot would make sure he broke his.

Gwen gave a terse nod before she began to state in a solemn voice, "Morgana..."

Lancelot sucked in air through his teeth as he felt the venom in Guinevere's voice. Ever since her best friend's betrayal, Gwen had never been able to look Morgana in the eyes, not even after Arthur and publically forgiven her for her crimes. Even Merlin had forgiven Morgana for nearly slaughtering his loved ones on multiple occasions; in fact, it was Merlin who begged Arthur to forgive her, to show Arthur that there was still light behind Morgana's darkened eyes.

Lancelot had no qualm with Morgana, so he had forgiven the Lady as well. Gwen was so pure hearted that she would forgive anyone for anything in an eye blink: anyone except Morgana it seemed...

Lancelot always believed that it would take the darkest person in the world to turn Gwen's heart of gold to stone...but by following this analogy, would it make Morgana evil and a potential threat in his eyes?

Lancelot shook his head, as if to clear it from the muddled expression he was in before replying, "I assume you would not like to go with me to the Lady Morgana's council chambers?"

Gwen threw her husband a look of distraught, which Lancelot interpreted as a no, and gave him a quick peck on the lips before clambering on to the bed.

When Lancelot reached the door, he looked back to see his wife snuggling into the bed sheets, trapped in a world of torture she had created for herself.

And it ripped Lancelot's heart to shreds to see her in such a state.

"But we must speak to the Lady Morgana! It tis a matter of urgency that requires notification immediately!" Leon pleaded Morgana's maid desperately, yet her stubborn maid would not budge even at his masterful request.

"I'm sure that whatever the matter is, it can wait, for the Lady is ill terribly..."

"Ok: I have had enough of this charade:I'm off to the tavern..." Gwaine snapped. Turning to Kara with a flirtatious smile, he serenaded, "Unless you have a better way to spend the time?"

Kara, Morgana's serving girl, scrunched up her nose in a disgusted face and would have replied with her magic, and a haughty retort, if it had not been for the fact that Morgana chose to emerge from her chambers at the exact split second that Kara was about to send her spell.

"Kara, that's enough!" Kara practically jumped when she heard the direct command from Morgana, "Do you not have business tidying up my chambers?"

"Yes, my lady..."

"Then get to it!" barked Morgana.

Lancelot and Leon exchanged shocked looks, since neither of them had ever seen Morgana act so bitter to anyone since her pardoning; on the other hand, Gwaine just stood there and 'admired the view' or Morgana in nothing but her white, silky night slip.

"Yes, My Lady..." Kara began to scurry past the knights.

"And oh, Kara?" Morgana began in a menacing voice at the retreating figure of her maid.

"My Lady?" Kara inquired.

"If you ever even think of using magic against Camelot or her knights again, I will see to you being held in the stocks like Arthur's manservant was for all of last week."

Gwaine, being the insensitive bumbling fool that he was, inserted a lewd commentary into Lancelot's ears when he saw his friend's bewildered face.

Leon chose that moment to approach Morgana about Arthur and Merlin's disappearance and how they were in need of her help.

Lancelot sighed while Gwaine still managed to go on about how George had walked into Arthur's chambers while they were the middle of God-Knows-What.

"You know I do not have any need for these erotic details," hissed Lancelot as Gwaine seemed to near the climax of his story, or more like Merlin's climax.

A few feet away Lancelot could see the two heads of Leon and Morgana still bent in conspiring a plan.

"Of course you do! It's the essentials of life," Gwaine then gave Lancelot the flirty wink he just gave Kara a few moments before.

"If Arthur's manservant ends up in the stocks for walking in on him and Merlin, what do you think he would do to the men spreading this information?" Lancelot grumbled in response, but then the lightbulb hit him, "How are you even obtaining this in such horrific detail?"

Gwaine's eyes suddenly light up, but before he could respond Lancelot stopped him by saying, "On second thought, I would rather not have my ears despoiled any further!"

"But you asked..." Gwaine stated in an exhausted voice.

"Lancelot?" Morgana inquired in a commanding tone, "What did Guinevere say?"

Lancelot felt the stabbing knife her voice when she said Gwen's name: if Gwen was hurting, what must it be like for Morgana?

"She told me nothing other than the fact that Merlin and Arthur were meant to be back ages ago..."

Morgana's eyes seemed to dim, as if someone had just stolen the light from them.

"Obviously if it was a non-magical threat, either or both Merlin and Arthur would be able to handle it..." Lancelot told Morgana, hating to be the one to break this depressing bit of news to her.

"Does she know where they are? We can send some of my trained sorcerers along with Arthur's men..."

"She does not...I'm sure she would have told us had she known..."

Morgana nodded in a terse, solemn manner.

"Someone may need to fetch Kara, for now I may have to scry to find Merlin and Arthur," Morgana stated, resuming command.

"There is no need to find them, My Lady!" a shrilled voice of Morgana's maidservant interrupts from behind the group.

Kara rushes forth to grasp Morgana's arm as if to beckon her to follow.

"There's no need because they are already here."


	5. Chapter 5

There was a time, when he would have accepted the help of his knights in such a dire situation: if Merlin, when he was his manservant, ever got hurt on a mission, Arthur would have sent him home with the aid of one of his most trusted knights, perhaps Sir Leon or Sir Lancelot. There was a time, that Arthur would have been able to carry on- some way, some how- if something truly bad were to happen to Merlin.

Merlin used to believe that: he would always say something along the lines of , "I'm happy to be your servant, till the day I die." And then he would disappear to God-Knows-Where (anywhere BUT the tavern, since Merlin had specified that first on their wedding night) only to self-sacrifice himself. May there was a time that was true, maybe once a upon a time, Arthur did not particularly need Merlin to function. Sure Arthur would be lost without Merlin, sure he would feel like there was a piece of him that was missing, but the pain would not be so severe that Arthur would not have been able to continue ruling.

But that time was long gone.

Arthur stubbornly continued down the narrow dirt road that would lead him to Camelot. Hours had passed since he saw his lover crumble beneath the icy beast; Merlin's body was as cold as ice.

If Arthur lost Merlin now, he would never forgive himself: never. Perhaps it was his chastisement for not being on the best of his guard. Perhaps his father was right: he always let his feelings cloud his judgement.

Never again, Arthur promised silently to his husband as he hobbled down toward the cobblestone streets of Camelot.

Make it out alive and never again will I let any harm come to you, Merlin; I will protect you as faithfully you have protected me for all those years.

Arthur felt Merlin's body twitch from where he was drapped over his shoulders.

I love you too much for that...

The journey back had not been all too bad; although Arthur was not able to find either of their horses, he did find the pack with extra blankets Merlin had packed for them. The extra heat helped Merlin regain enough of his strength to at very least come back to the world of the living, for now Arthur was able to feel the small, warm air mingling with the side of his neck.

There were spare shirts in the pack along with the quilts, which really was a necessity. The King of Camelot should not be seen roaming around the streets of his city without some modest attire.

Arthur stubbornly made his way through the castle gates and into the courtyard. But before he could make it to the steps, the knights, his knights, were already filing out of the castle, rushing to his side. The clambered down the steps and only halted when they reached Arthur, offering to lift Merlin from his weary shoulders. But Arthur grimly shook his head: if anyone was going to carry his husband, it would be him. Thankfully the knights seemed to understand the pride and love at stake in the situation, for they backed away immediately and did not press Arthur anymore.

Arthur felt a light glimmer of light rekindle in his heart to see how loyal his friends truly were there for him when he needed them, even Gwaine seemed to have dimmed down his easy demeanor just for him and Merlin.

Arthur, pausing to shift Merlin into his arms in bridal position, briskly climbed up the marble steps into the castle, using the last bit of energy he had reserved to bring Merlin as safely and as quickly to Gaius as possible.

The castle servants quickly moved out of the way for their King as he continued to rush up the stairs inside the castle. Arthur made a mental note to give them his gratitude later.

After what seemed like many moons, Arthur was finally burst into the old man's chambers to find Gaius and Morgana preparing the patient's bed.

"Gaius..." Arthur managed to croak in a desperate voice, unable to continue.

Gaius's nodding gesture towards the bed did not need to be repeated. Arthur rushed his husband over to the cot and gingerly placed him on to the white linen sheets.

Arthur plotted himself on his Merlin's bedside, holding Merlin's hand with his left one. They could have stayed like that forever.

"Merlin, your home..." But the lack of any sort of response began to worry Arthur, "You'll be alright: you always are...you have to be-" Arthur choked out as he neared sobbing.

A firm, young hand came to graze on his shoulder and grip it tightly. Taking his free hand, Arthur rested it on top of Morgana's. Held her hand as tightly as he clung to Merlin's. The two people he loved the most in the world were the two people left he could call family. And if ever lost either of them again, Arthur would just...

"Sire, if what I fear has come to pass, I must ask you to leave the room so I can examine Merlin..." Gaius's shaken voice snapped Arthur back to reality.

"But...Merlin..."

"...will be alright as soon as I cure him," Gaius assured as Morgana began to tug at Arthur's tunic sleeve.

"Arthur, please just..." Morgana said in a shaken that shocked him the most, "Just do as he says..."

It was one thing to see Gaius so broken, for Arthur would understand how the older man felt. Merlin was like a son to him, and Arthur would be worried if Gaius was not shaken after all that has happened.

But it was another to see Morgana in such a state. Ever since she had gotten back, Merlin had ignored her, distrusted her, hated her...

But with time he was able to forgive her, but Merlin was not able to forget all the pain Morgana had caused to everyone. Merlin was cordial with Morgana, but that was only for political acts or the public. Arthur always felt there was more of a reason other than her initial betrayal why Merlin could not forgive Morgana, but he never wanted to ask in case it brought up hostilities between the two of them.

Arthur quietly followed Morgana out of the physician's rooms and down the hallway leading to her chambers. Neither he or Morgana spoke a word as they ascended the steps leading to her bedroom. Morgana's servant was still hovering around, anticipating Morgana's return.

"Kara, you may go."

"My lady," Kara muttered as she bowed before she fluttered out of the chambers.

A moment of silence passed between them as the two Pendragons gave each other calculating glances. Arthur broke the awkward silence first with his sudden wave of sobs.

"Come here, Arthur," Morgana soothed in a buttery voice, and there was nothing he could have done to deny her this.

Arthur quickly wrapped himself in her warm and generous embrace.

"It will be alright...He'll be alright..." Morgana choked in a quivering voice.

"It's just..." Arthur finally said when he broke through is tears, "I can't lose him, Morgana. He's everything to me..."

"I can't lose him either...we won't lose him," Morgana affirmed as Arthur was quickly reminded of how much Merlin meant to her; despite his distrust in Morgana, he had helped her with controlling her magic and regaining her position in the court when she returned to Camelot.

"Morgana?" Arthur whispered into her shoulder.

"Hm?"

"Thank you..."

Morgana pulled back out with confusion written on her face and protested, "For what? I haven't done anything!"

"For a lot of things...For giving me a chance, for not blaming me for my father's sins..."

"Oh please, Arthur! Praise does not become you..." Morgana attempted at lightening the otherwise serious moment.

"No, Morgana," Arthur stubbornly argued, "I mean it...If something were to ever happen to you...I just want you to know that despite everything, I love you and trust you with my heart and my life..."

Morgana's smirk slowly diminished and was replaced with a rather fond knowing smile she had reserved for her brother.

"If there is only one thing he knows, it's that you love him," Morgana soothed while clasping one of Arthur's sore hands between the two of hers, "And if he were to die, his last thought would have been he loves you too..."

Arthur feels his heart squeeze as fresh tears began to well up in his eyes, but this time they were from joy and not despair.

"Oh, please! If you keep crying in front of me, I think I will have to leave you again..."

Arthur gave a light laugh at his sister's disgusted face; the one thing that will probably end up killing Arthur would be the embarrassment that came with displaying his soft side to Morgana.

A sudden drumming sound on the wooden door of Morgana's chambers pulled the siblings back to reality.

"Enter," Morgana demanded in a concise manner.

"My Lord," Kara said before bowing to Arthur and turning to Morgana, "My Lady, Gaius requests your presences in his chambers: Merlin is awake."

"Merlin?" Arthur's eyes light up with complete joy and happiness and he does not need to be told twice.

"But, King Arthur!" Kara began in protest; however, Arthur is already half way out the door, bounding down the hallway.

Morgana shuffled uncomfortably while she stared at her sullen maidservant, "Kara, what were you about to say to him before he pranced away to his beloved?"

Kara spun around to look at her mistress, "Merlin's awake, but..."

Arthur rushed around the corner passing servants, who again moved out of his way to prevent him any delay in reaching his destination. As he skidded to a halt in front of Gaius's chambers, Arthur backtracked to the vase containing the flowers that he saw the servants putting in earlier that morning, which felt like an eternity ago.

With a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure no one was looking (it would not do if the King of Camelot was caught stealing in his own castle), Arthur snatched the bouquet of...well, Merlin would know which types of flowers they are...It was the thought that mattered.

Without bothering to knock, Arthur burst into the physician's chambers, to find Merlin lying on the mattress alone with no sign of Gaius, who must have gone out to fetch water or herbs.

Arthur crossed the cluttered room in a few long strides and stood at the side of the cot. He stood there and looked at Merlin's relaxed form. Thankfully some of the color had returned to his sharp cheekbones and lush pink lips making him look more alive. It looked as though Merlin was asleep, waiting for is prince charming to come and kiss him awake.

And that is what Arthur did.

He let himself drop to kneel in front of his lover's face and moved his lips to hover over Merlin's. He lingered here a moment, breathing in the same air Merlin was breathing in, before he closed the tiny gap between them. It was a chaste kiss, pressing gently on Merlin's lips for a few seconds before he felt Merlin's cushion like lips push back.

Arthur pulled away to see Merlin with his eyes still closed.

"Gwen? I thought I told you never to do that again!"

"Seriously, Merlin: even a drunk Gwaine would not have confused me for Guinevere," Arthur taunted in a delicate, playful tone, but his insides roared in jealousy.

When had Gwen kissed Merlin?

Merlin grumbled something unintelligible before he fluttered his eyelids open, struggling to keep them that way.

"Seriously Gwen..." Merlin groaned out deliriously as he turned his back to Arthur, "As if kissing me was not enough...I mean can't I go one second of my life without hearing his voice?!"

Arthur gaped at his husband in wonder and shock, struggling to come up with what to say next; however, Merlin saved him the trouble of saying something when he turned back around and his eyes shot open.

"Arthur?!" Merlin muttered as he tried to sit up, but Arthur placed his hands on his lover's shoulders to prevent him from doing so.

"Merlin, seriously I sometimes have to wonder if you really are as stupid as I think you are..."

"Wha-What are you doing here?" Merlin was now gaping at the man before him, "Where did Gwen go?"

"Gwen who? You mean Guinevere?" Arthur questioned in a sarcastic tone, "She never came down to greet us when we arrived...I really don't blame her if she didn't want to see the King and his Consort as half frozen zombies..."

"King...and his Consort?" Merlin asked, his question mixed with confusion, "Wait...What...Your father got married?"

Now it was Arthur's turn to let the shock write itself on his face, especially when heard Merlin mutter something along the lines of 'Who was crazy enough to marry the King?'. Convinced that all Merlin's mind needed was a boost, Arthur rolled his eyes before spelling everything out.

"For your information, Mer-lin, you shouldn't go calling the King's Consort an idiot considering you are the King's Consort..."

"I'm WHAT?!" Merlin's shrill gave Arthur a mini heart attack, "I'm married to Uther? I must have been passed out longer than I thought..."

"What?! No, you idiot!" Arthur shouted in a less confident voice, "Me...You're married to me...Merlin, please quite this nonsense..."

When Merlin's shocked face got even paler, Arthur's heart stopped mid beat.

"Yeah...and I bet those flowers are for me too, aren't they?"

Arthur glanced down at the bouquet of now forgotten blue and yellow flowers.

"Forget me nots? Seriously?! And you say my jokes are bad..."

"Merlin this isn't a joke!"

Merlin grumbled something that Arthur could not make out and was about to sulk when he noticed it: the silver ring on the index finger of his right hand.

"No..." Merlin murmured under his as he clutched his right wrist with his left hand before claiming with disgusted, broken voice, "How the hell did that get there?!"

"Merlin?" Arthur choked. Merlin had said that same exact thing this morning, but not in the same manner as he did now...

When Merlin said that now, Arthur felt his soul being ripped out of his body, his heart being ripped in two.

"Merlin, it will be alright...I'm here..."Arthur tried to reach out to pull Merlin into an embrace.

Gaius had just returned from his errands, but neither man noticed him as he simply stood there and watched the drama let itself unfold.

"NO! Get away from me!" Merlin shrieked as Arthur quickly retracted, "Is this some sort of joke?!"

"No, Merlin! How could you think that..."

"Well for one you're a...a clot-pole! And giving me a heart attack is a very clot-pole like thing to do!"

"No, Merlin! You're not listening to me..."

"Listening to what? Your sick jokes?" Merlin spat, but when he saw Arthur on the verge of tears he stated a calmer manner, "What are you trying to say?"

"We're married...we've been married for three years-No, Merlin, hear me out...Today was our anniversary..."

Arthur felt all the emotions of the day come in a wave, crashing down and suffocating him.

"We were...you and I..." With so many things to say, Arthur just could not find a way to translate what was on his mind into words.

"Merlin, do you remember what you said when we got married?" Arthur began again, losing hope be the second, "You said, 'Arthur, I will love you, till the day I die...'"

Arthur paused, sure he and Merlin had seen each other beyond bare, but never had Arthur been so naked with his emotions.

"Merlin, please tell me you remember..."

"Arthur...I-I don't. I don't remember."

And Arthur knew then that a part of him just died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I update this fic every two weeks on my fanfiction account (Merthurianlegends).
> 
> I will post here after I complete five chapters (and serial post 5 at once).


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